The dark side of porn: Angel Rivera on trauma, recovery & taking back your power

SWCEO Interviews Angel Rivera

Blog Post Written By: MelRose Michaels

---

Everyone sees the awards, the scenes, the accolades. But no one sees the part where you’re high at work, leaving your trophies behind, and wondering if anyone actually loves you, or if they just love what you make.

In a recent Twitter Space conversation, MelRose Michaels sits down with Angel Rivera, an award-winning performer and longtime industry insider, to unpack the real cost of surviving in porn. From being branded by studios to reclaiming his name, from addiction and burnout to the slow, intentional work of healing, this is a raw and unfiltered look at what it really takes to survive, rebuild, and come back stronger in the adult industry.

MelRose Michaels: Welcome back to On the Whorizon. I’m MelRose Michaels, your host. Today’s episode is an important one. We’re diving into the reality behind the adult industry, the things people don’t always talk about.

Today’s guest, Angel Rivera, is an award-winning performer who’s been in the adult industry for seven years. At just 28, he’s seen the highs, the lows, and everything in between. We’re talking burnout, boundaries, exploitation, and what it really means to take your power back.

Angel, thank you so much for being here.

Angel Rivera: Thank you for having me.

MelRose Michaels: For those just meeting you, can you share how you got started in sex work?

Angel: Honestly, I just applied. I was burnt out from college and applied to Helix Studios. They flew me out for a weekend, and by the end of it, I was signed to a year-long contract. From there, I was learning as I went.

MelRose Michaels: That’s probably the rarest path I’ve heard, just applying and getting signed. Looking back, what surprised you most about those early days?

Angel: I had fun at first, but it wasn’t what I thought it would be. I was sold this low-rent version of Hollywood. No shade to the sex work community, but the fantasy didn’t match the reality. If you don’t deal with your traumas before entering this industry, they’ll come back to deal with you.

MelRose Michaels: A lot of new performers get branded before they even know who they are. When did you realize your name, body, or content weren’t really being treated as your own?

Angel: Three months in. I was trading spank scenes for weed. I knew I was just a piece of meat. I had to be okay with older studio owners touching me however they wanted, and I just told myself to smile through it.

MelRose Michaels: That’s heartbreaking, and sadly familiar for a lot of performers. When OnlyFans started becoming popular, how did that shift things for you?

Angel: At first, I was told I couldn’t even have an OnlyFans. They said, “You're Angel Rivera with us, you can’t make content on your own.” That’s when I realized they wanted control. They even told other models the same thing. I didn’t believe them, and eventually I started reclaiming my name and working with other studios.

MelRose Michaels: What happened when you tried to advocate for yourself?

Angel: I asked for a raise. They offered $100 more. I asked for $600–$700. They told me no other studio would pay that. I didn’t believe them, so I reached out to others. That’s when I started learning how to market myself. I had no manager, just figured it out on my own.

MelRose Michaels: That’s such a powerful leap. But I imagine it’s terrifying to go from having things handled for you to doing it all yourself. How did you manage that fear?

Angel: It was scary, but I faced it head-on. I had a background in mass communications and marketing, so I leaned on that. I knew I got into this industry to sell myself, not to have someone else run my accounts.

MelRose Michaels: We often assume that once the money improves, things get better. Was that your experience?

Angel: Not at all. When the money got better, I got full of myself. But my habits didn’t improve; I just had more money to self-destruct. I was filming with people I didn’t want to film with, showing up to scenes high, using Trimex just to perform. I was burnt out in every way.

MelRose Michaels: Were there red flags that told you things weren’t sustainable?

Angel: Yes. I was always high. I left my first award behind because I didn’t care. I had a porn star ex who didn’t love me back. I had fans saying they loved me, but I didn’t feel love. It all spiraled. Three months ago, I overdosed. That was my turning point.

MelRose Michaels: I’m so glad you’re here and willing to talk about that. What changed after the overdose?

Angel: Everything. I decided to do things differently. I stopped using drugs and alcohol. I now shoot only what I want to shoot. I tell studios what I want, and if they can’t respect that, I won’t work with them. I’ve never been this happy. I'm finally learning how to be here.

MelRose Michaels: How has your relationship with your work changed?

Angel: I’m present now. I’m not thinking about the paycheck during scenes; I’m actually enjoying them. When I edit my videos, I don’t have to edit around chaos. It’s all energy-based. And now that it’s good energy, it flows into everything else.

MelRose Michaels: How much of this work do you think is mental?

Angel: Fifty-fifty. Half is physical, how you look, sleep, and eat. The other half is knowing and respecting yourself. If you don’t, the burnout gets worse. And once you know better and don’t act on it, that’s a different kind of suffering.

MelRose Michaels: What’s your advice for new creators? And what about veteran performers?

Angel: For new creators: if you can, skip the studios. Make your own content. You’ll avoid a lot of harm.

For veterans: ask yourself why you got into the industry. If it was a good reason, reconnect with that. If it was from pain, make sure you’re healing. No matter what, take care of yourself. That’s the key to longevity.

MelRose Michaels: You’ve moved through survival, burnout, and now healing. What’s next?

Angel: I want to tap into my creativity. I want to learn photography, film, maybe even music. This industry gives us time, and now I want to use that time to create, learn, and enjoy life.

MelRose Michaels: That’s beautiful. Thank you for being so open today. Can you tell people where to find and follow you?

Angel: You can find me on X @AngelRiveraXXX, on Instagram @RicardoRants, and on TikTok @RicardoIsAngel. If anyone is listening and is struggling, please reach out. You are not alone. You have friends here.

MelRose Michaels: This was one of the most vulnerable, real, and powerful conversations we’ve had. If you’re a creator listening, remember: your energy isn’t infinite. It has to sustain your real life, not just your on-camera one.

If you want to be part of a community that gets it, check out CEOSociety. We also recommend Pineapple Support for free or low-cost therapy and mental health resources for adult creators.

And if you got something from this episode, send it to a friend. We don’t gatekeep here.

---

Some parts of the above interview have been condensed or edited for clarity. For the full interview, listen to the entire podcast episode here

P.S. If this conversation hit home, don’t keep it to yourself. Share it with a creator friend who might need to hear it, and invite them to join the CEO Society, our private community for adult creators. No algorithms, no judgment. Just people who get it.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the interview are those of the guest speaker and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of SexWorkCEO or MelRose Michaels. Anything said or written is of their opinion and is not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual, or anyone else.